Why I Can Relate with Princess Mia...

Some of you may have noticed I haven't posted a blog in a several weeks.  The problem isn't lack of inspiration but quite the contrary.  Our society is seeing shifts in so many different realms and patterns of thinking from political ideologies to love to body image that it is almost over-stimulating.  There are so many different #hashtag movements happening that it's hard to focus on one because I am interested and passionate about several.*  But today, as I sat in the Mid-County Public Library, I felt compelled to write about something that I personally struggled during my adolescent years. 

EYEBROWS

I think my favorite example is from the ever-popular movie The Princess Diaries.

 

Paolo: "If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx, their child would have your eyebrows! "

 

Thick, bushy, and full are solid adjectives to describe my own eyebrows.  I grew up more on the tom-boy side of things so many make-up products and definitely the concept of waxing my eyebrows was so foreign it was laughable.  In fact, to this day I choose not to wax my eyebrows.  But that doesn't mean I haven't considered it. 

 

When I took the time to research more on this topic, I  ran across an interesting Today News article that asked nearly 700 parents "When is appropriate to let your child..." style questions.  One of those questions asked about the age girls could start waxing or tweezing.  According to the article, of the parents questioned "32 percent said it was OK for 16-year-olds to wax or tweeze, 30 percent said age 14 and 19 percent said age 12."  I loved the author's final note on this topic; she made it personal and related it to her own experiences with her 12 year old daughter who's brow is full due to heritage, ethnicity,  and genetics.  She made a valid point: who is anyone to judge?  Bushy or thin or anywhere in between, it's you who gets to decide.

 

I can't say one way or the other if there's a right age for waxing or tweezing, but I do want to combat is this idea that it's a necessity.  Children are not aware of the term uni-brow until we teach them; they don't know that bushy eyebrows are less desirable than well-groomed ones unless we inform them of that truth.  Beauty standards set by media infiltrate even the most miniscule of concepts and we have the power to pass them along to future generations of women. 

 

I'm not here to tell you to stop waxing your brows or #tossthetweezers (hah, what a hashtag that fad that would be).  I want to encourage you to do you.  If you like a well-maintained brow line, then by all means call your waxer up.  If you prefer to be more free then be sparse in your tweezing.  Even more important, let young women decide for themselves.  There are so many awkward conversations that a growing girl has to deal with, but eyebrows shouldn't be one of them.  Discuss the pressure and the influences, and most importantly listen to what she's feeling.  Come to mutual ground.

 

Remember that our bodies are ours and no one else's.  We may face judgment, but we do not have to subscribe to it! We ourselves get to recognize our own beauty however we see fit.  Media holds little stake in the perception I have of myself - especially in regards to my eyebrows.

 

Until next time, friends. :)

-R

 

*Some movements that have captured my attention and ones that I'm still trying to decide my own opinions include: #rockthecroptop  #fatkini  #losehatenotweight  #bodypositive  #droptheplus #bellybuttonchallenge  <-- There is a massive movement occurring on social media which involves a lot of body-shaming and body-positive components.  In the future I want to examine some of  these and more and their effects on me a woman.  Just one thing: It's not a competition!



Why I Snap...

This post is quite a bit less serious in relation to other topics I've written about.  Yet, it will manage to reveal quite a bit about my personal beliefs on how we should treat others.

Today at church, I snapped at a woman sharing a word on the stage.  I snapped at the pastor while he gave the sermon.  I snap at people all the time, in fact.  If you type in "snap definition" into your search bar, you'll find upwards of 15 definitions for "snap" including a type of jacket fastener, a quick movement or breaking sound, and a manner in which an animal may eat.   In this case, I literally mean the snapping of my fingers.  I physically snap my thumbs and my middle fingers at people to indicate something.  Band directors snap at people to keep time.  People snap at others to express anger or urgency.  I snap for another reason - a reason more people should snap to. 

If you have warranted a snap from Renèe Cisar,

 you have done one of three things:

1) You've said something that

 really resonates with her

2) You've said something that

she completely agrees with

3) You've done something that she is

 so impressed with she's speechless

^The people who know me know

 how hard that last one is to achieve. 

Now, I started doing this about 2 years ago  in #reslife, and it stuck.  Trust me, I have been made fun of again and again for this, but I think people secretly like the affirmation that what they're saying is really meaningful and touching someone in the room.  It's like a "Amen" or a "Yeah!" without the verbal disruption (although, I'll throw those in on occasion, too). 

The trick is this: I don't limit this confidence-booster to church.  I snap at professors, classmates, and students at school.  I snap with my friends whenever we go out.  I snap when I'm talking to a stranger and we get to chatting about more than the weather.  I snap because it means I'm listening to you, and I feel what you are saying.  It's a means of creating relationships.  Added bonus, it adds in an element of laughter when someone is caught off guard or isn't quite sure what's going on. 

So, next time you hear me snap - no worries!  I'm not angry or trying to rush you.  I'm connecting with you and feel that you have a right to know.

Until next time, friends.
Renèe :)

Why... Pt. 2

...I started this blog round two.  

In my verrrrry first post I shared some fairly deep rooted issue as my inspiration for this blog in the first place. Here's a sample: "Five Head." "Ape legs." "BIG, no HUGE Nose.... All throughout high school I compared myself to my much more beautiful gal-friends who always had boyfriends or at the very least interests.  The lack of desired attention I was receiving in that department set those self-esteem bars even lower.  By the age of 17 I hated myself and everything about my looks."

Now come the college years.  I cannot believe that years between high school graduation and now went by so incredibly fast.  Nor can I believe just how much I've changed.
At 18 I couldn't tell if UMSL would be too terribly different from high school or my insecurities would continue to enslave me.  Enslave.  It is certainly an intense word, but that's how I felt.  Trapped under the feeling that I would never be enough... And even though I have changed, it truly surprises me just how easily that feeling can creep back into my life. 

My perspective has changed - thank god.  I was never too much of a party girl; I went to parties, but not every weekend.  I would say the peak of my self-absorbency came during the summer of 2013.  I can say that although I made some choices that I'm not  particularly proud of, I developed from each of them.  Lots of those choices came from a place of thinking that the male attention I received would make me feel wanted and desired.  I think it's fairly obvious that that's not the answer I needed, just the answer that was easiest.  The harder answer is...well...just harder. 

It's harder to accept that my life may not fit within the molds that society has constructed.  It's harder to realize that I may not be alone, but there are times I'm really lonely.  It's harder to be approached by attractive men who want to be with me (even if only for a little while and for a little fun) and say a determined no.  It's harder to scroll through my Facebook and see couples popping up everywhere (man, I sure am at that age...) and truly being okay.  It's wonderful to have such supportive friends and family, but that doesn't mean I don't have my moments where a glass of wine is exactly what the doctor ordered. 

I wish I could say it's easy as the Jackson 5 makes it sound, but I'm no liar.  I'm just looking forward to something different.  But I'm also not placing my worth in what someone else thinks about me. Allowing God to lead in my life is so much more promising than steering my own ship.  So, yeah, I'm living a bit differently, but I'm no longer chained to my insecurities.

Until next time, friends.
-Renèe :)

 

In honor of my sisters who graduated from high school this week! :)