My previous post on the words CHECK OUT concerned itself with both body image and the bombardment of sex whilst perusing the check out lane at the grocery store. This post takes on a different perspective of those words.
Today, I'm talking cat-calls.
What is a cat-call? (skip to 1:00 if you are in a rush!)
"make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a person passing by"
Reactions to cat calling and whistling range from outrange to encouragement - no wonder men can't figure out if women like to be hackled on the street.* The feminist in me recognizes that I shouldn't want to be treated as if I'm a dog that can be beckoned by a simple, "Girl, you lookin' goooood in those pants." Outwardly, I do tend to either ignore such remarks or respond with a polite thank you and move on. My inward reactions are a totally different story. Like the title of this post suggests, sometimes... I kinda like the quick and affirming check out. "Yes, I do look good today - you're right to have noticed!" It is not that I enjoy the degrading feeling, the feeling that this person hollering at me feels as though they have a right to speak to me in such a way... They don't even know me, which means their comment is strictly based upon my looks! What I do like is the confidence boost. I wish I could say that my identity is so strongly rooted in the Lord that I know and feel my beauty at all times, but I can't. I know, from being both an older sister and mentor, I could say you don't need another person to tell you how beautiful you truly are. And I hope you believe me when I say that you don't need them to, but I would be lying if I said I don't (on occasion) want them to compliment me. As a single gal, it is refreshing to be appreciated and adored at times.** Compliments out of obligation from family and friends never seem to hold as much weight as a compliment from a complete stranger. The cat call isn't always a compliment, though. If you are a cat caller (which I sometimes am..), sometimes the cat call is unwelcomed and belittling. Typically, those situations are the ones I find become more along the lines of verbal sexual harassment. But, when it seems like the whistle is a friendly one, I don't mind taking the compliment for what it is: someone recognizing my looks. I am in no way suggesting or stating that looks should be of high importance, but I know there are definitely days that I get dressed up on purpose and it's nice to be recognized for that effort.
For women (or men) who detest the cat call: I want to ask you some questions - are you encouraging it? Do you say anything to those who give you a holler? What are the reasons you do not like the call?
However you feel about cat calls, love 'em or hate 'em... I don't think they are going anywhere - especially in our urban settings. It's also not something that we just have "get used to" if they do make you feel uncomfortable. If the cat calls are something that bother you and the situation seems safe and appropriate, say something. Step out of your comfort zone and explain why what was said offended you. You may change that person's perspective. Or they may just be a not nice person. But it's also not always a bad thing to walk onward and enjoy the feeling of being noticed.
Until next time, friends.
RC :)
*Typical situation, but it most certainly could be rearranged to several different settings
** I will say, I imagine those in committed relationships will probably respond quite differently. I myself am not currently in any such relationship.
Bekah - you posted this the other day and it made me LAUGH! Thought I would share this funny video about What Men Are Really Saying when they Catcall!
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