Why the Mirror can be a Friend or a Foe...

"It was during that time that I noticed my body's betrayal.  My voice became deep and husky, and my naked image in the mirror gave no intimations that it would ever become feminine and curvy."

- Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

 

In her book Letter to My Daughter world renowned author Maya Angelou (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings) reflects on her frustrations as a 16 year-old female whose body didn't cooperate the way she wished it would.  Angelou is not alone in her discontent.  In fact, according to research done at the Social Issues Research Centre "up to 8 out of 10 women [are] dissatisfied with their reflection, and more than half may see a distorted image."  And even though we may despise the mirror, it seems that every time we pass a reflective surface we cannot help but take a quick glance at ourselves.  It's not vanity (although, I suppose it very well could be); I'd argue that, due to unhealthy and unrealistic beauty standards, women feel the need to constantly check in to make sure they look okay.  I imagine I am not alone when I double check the mirror before leaving the house, look at myself in my phone reflection at that zit that's bothering me or that hair that will not stay down, and check out my outfit again as I pass the building with the shiny walls... Crap, in this light this shirt does NOT make me look skinny.  The mirror hardly ever tells me anything positive; sometimes I manage to get a 'not so bad.'  It wasn't until I realized the only person giving the mirror any power to comment on my appearance was me that my eyes began to see myself in a whole new way.  It's not a perfect system, either.  I have my fair share of good days and bad days, but my anchor and constant reminder is the truth that is spoken over me: I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image.  Yes, I am aware that I just used one of the most cliché verses in the bible, but how can the truth embedded in that statement be denied?  Yet, every day we experience shame and disappointment when we look into the mirror.  Quickly that bold statement is forgotten and the image reflected back at us is everything we don't want it to be. 

 

Personally, the recognizing the transition from high school to my sophomore year of college was the hardest.  My metabolism had slowed (as it does for most everyone) and my exercising had reduced dramatically.  Freshman 15? Ehh... Let's try 25.  My reflection at that point was not only disappointing; it was foreign.  The weight gain had happened so gradually that the day to day mirror checks hadn't quite caught up, but the one day I looked up and saw a body that wasn't my own.  Now, I recognize the elephant I was equating myself to in my own mind was not what others saw as I passed by.  I fell into (and am sure I still do at times) the larger 80% of women who have a distorted view of their own body.  I decided to make a change.  I started running.  I didn't exactly change my eating habits, but I was certainly more aware of what I was scarfing down (let's just say, I stopped eating a pack of Nutter Butter cookies, Twizzlers, and Cherry Coke while doing homework).  My weight loss endeavor started off just like it sounds: I was focused on my weight.  Two months in, though, I decided my obsession with my scale was far more unhealthy than the criticism of my mirror.  I took on the mantra "Look in the mirror - if you're not happy change something."  So, I did.  Not dramatically, but enough to where I look in the mirror and I am happy.

 

It is not an easy path to accept the truth that is spoken over us.  For one month straight I read sections solely dedicated to God's desire for us.  If God can love me, then shouldn't I be able to love me?  He made us with such intention.  Do not be afraid to be happy with your reflection.  It is OKAY to stop believing the commercials and the magazines that tell us we need to in a constant state of fret about our looks and desiring to change everything about ourselves.  Rather than believe someone who wants money, believe someone who wants your heart. 

 

Best,

Renèe :)

 

 

Follow this link to read the research mentioned above!  Older article, but breaks down the effects of a mirror into several different categories including gender, ethnicity, age, etc.  

 

Watch one of my favorite artists Colbie Caillet challenge the status quo with her new song "Try" and, if you have time, read an amazing article about the pressures she faces everyday.