CHECK OUT
***Warning - This post relates to both body image and sex; if you disagree with my views on either topic, but the latter in particularly, please leave an appropriate comment or message me! :)
Have you ever gone to the grocery store, walked up to the check out counter, and immediately found yourself disgusted with....yourself? I have. I look at back the racks of magazines telling me mainly one of two things: "You think you look good? Nope." or "You're not having sex?! You should be."
Not sure what I'm talking about? Let me show you.....
It is not an easy scene to walk into. In fact, if these are two areas of doubt, insecurity, and struggle the check out line can quickly transform into a battleground. Below you will find my thoughts on both topics, first weight followed by sex.
Weight: There are some magazines whose intentions are meant to be positive. Take the People "Half Their Size" issue, for instance. I am sure the images and before and after comparisons were meant to inspire readers to jumpstart their weight loss plans and see that they too could "do it!" But that is the thing - it is a constant feeling of construction. There will always be more weight to lose. Every spring magazines will claim we need to "slim up" for the bikini season or that our age doesn't matter, we can drop the fat. Now, I am firm believer in beauty at all sizes. So do I think the women in the pictures above are beautiful? Yes! Absolutely, but it has little to do with their slimmed down bodies. Again, beautiful is a term that each individual has the right define. It is only the media's pressure telling society that beauty equates a certain size and weight requirement. I also do not wish to negate the fact that these women probably worked incredibly hard to either lose or maintain their weight - kudos to them! Weight loss is no easy feat. Set points are a very real thing (set point is the weight of your body that if stayed at for aprx. 6 months it will most likely remain at; it may vary 5-10lbs above or below depending on food intake and workout regimen).
Yet, my plea to you, my dear reader, is that the bold faced print on these magazine covers would stop feeding into your insecurity and telling you lies. Your body is not a "work in progress" or a "construction zone." I will say, it is nearly impossible to not want to change a single thing about your body, but if that is the case for you... Maybe you should start a blog because I would love to know your secrets! :) The tricky part about weight loss, diets, etc. is the intent behind those efforts. Do you believe that if you lose X amount of pounds, the person of your dreams will finally fall in love with you? Is it driven by shear competition to size others up, by having the best body in the room? Maybe happiness is the goal and the clear answer is being thin? If you fall into those categories (among others), weight loss will not bring you what you are searching for. I am a huge fan of self-improvement, but I am aware it can be a slippery slope. Good intentions do not always mean it is a good thing. What I will leave this topic with is this - do not go into battle empty handed and unprepared. If you know that weight is an area in which you easily succumb to lies, start to build a mantra for yourself. Know that at any weight (aside from life threatening situations), you are loved dearly and deeply. I doubt the propaganda for weight loss will stop any time soon, but that does not mean we have to blindly follow. Guard yourself against it by arming yourself with truth and understanding that happiness, love, and success does not lie in your body's weight, size, or shape.
Sex: This is a bit of a dicey topic, so it's completely understandable if you'd like to stop reading now. I get it - I do! Especially in the Christian world, talking about sex has become so taboo, yet it is plastered all around us. It is integrated into almost every form of entertainment and is certainly staring us down while we wait at the grocery store. If you know me at all, you are probably well aware of my current status on having sex (and for those of you who don't know me well, I'm not one to be shy about this topic). Yes, folks, I am a virgin. Twenty-one in the Twenty-First Century and a virgin. Shocker! But, in reality, it is somewhat of a shock. My chosen lifestyle among my age group does not appear to be the norm and it is by no means easy. I can say from several different situations in my life, people react in one of two general ways - feelings of frustration and anger or happiness and near disbelief. (Side-note, my favorite responses thus far: "I guarantee you can't wait; I knew someone just like you, and she had sex the second she got into a serious relationship." and "F*** you. You're a tease. F*** you because you won't f*** me." <-- That response was in a restaurant from a man I had met 35 minutes earlier. Yup.) It's always an odd conversation to have, but I am generally open to talking about sex because (contrary to the common misconception) it is not like I never want to have sex! Yet, I have chosen to wait until marriage. To me, it doesn't exactly matter where you align on the spectrum (virgin, now waiting until marriage, or actively having sex), you feel the pressure. Sex is in your face all the time. Do I want to know the best ways to go for gold in the bedroom? Yah! Will that information be on the backburner for quite sometime if I read it now.. Yes, which is exactly why I do not often indulge myself in magazines and articles with sexy topics. Someday, but not today.
Simply a tip for the moments you find yourself bombarded in check out lane 4 that I have implemented in my own life - Do not even pick up the magazine. Arm yourself and do not put yourself in a situation where you know insecurity and deceit are prone to reside. Truly, this goes much further beyond the check out lane.
Until next time, friends.
-RC :)
*Woah, long post! Sorry about that!
